Flash Back

So I was looking at pictures today. Ones from when I was almost at my lowest. Well it was after my lowest by about 2 weeks. And then I found pictures of me last summer. I couldn't believe it. I compared everything I hate about my body now to the pictures. Thinking that it all magically appeared at the end of the school year, I had to think about it again. My arms look the same-my face is almost the same-my collarbone area. Thinking more about it-I probably only gained about 5-10 pounds at school. I've lost about 7 since coming back home. Not nearly enough. But I'm trying to stay positive. Trying to remember that this didn't happen over night. It didn't happen in a month. It took me months. Months to get to the point where my body was really eating at itself. Almost losing a half a pound each day or so.

Tomorrow I'm going to do something I havn't done for a while and not yet this summer. Swim in my pool. We have a huge swimming pool at my house, but of course no one has caught me in it. And they wont-because I'm going to go in during the day when my mom is at work and my brother is too busy to care. I'm excited. To feel the chlorine and weightlessness. To sort of get some exercise. To swim and not worry about people looking at me. Judging me.

I dont work tomorrow BUT I have to take my kitty to the vet. My very overweight kitty-haha. I'm going to buy him a toy. A kitty scratcher.

I need to clean my room tomorrow too-and my ferrets cage.

I want to buy more avocados. I made this really good mixture that I like to eat for lunch or dinner. It's 1/4 cup of black beans-cold. half an avocado and 1/4 a can of tuna. sooooooooo good!!

I'm also going to watch Alice in Wonderland tomorrow.

It's going to be a good day