My first post in over 6 months and the first of the new year. I'm terrible.
Can you blame me though? Unfortunately whenever I'm on a computer I feel obligated to be working on homework.
I read my last post and it's so funny looking back on it over a half year later. It's one of the reasons I stopped writing in journals. I hate reading past feelings. I hate seeing how needy or whiny or *insert negative emotion extreme*.
Telling Adam I loved him is something I don't regret. I wouldn't change the timing of it either. Really, if I had waited-one more month would have been the difference. Now I realize that everyone has different feelings at different times. I don't see mine as being too early at all. Like I've said before-he's pretty much my first everything...and with that comes lots of emotional attachment.
He still was a jerk over the time he was away. Though I can't completely forget about it, I think I know why it happened.
See Adam still hasn't said those 3 words to me yet. It'll be our 1.2 year anniversary March 10th. No I'm not expecting him to say it, but the fact that he hasn't said it yet means that he isn't ready(obviously). Me saying it at 6 months must have really freaked him out. I can only imagine myself doing the same thing-distancing myself.
It hurts at times, but only because I feel like he's more to me than I am to him. They say if you reflect on your relationship it's a sign you're heading down the break-up path. Maybe it's a lie. Anyways, lots of reflecting later-I have a new view of myself. I'm a damn good girlfriend. I KNOW what I deserve. I love him, but if he never loves me-oh well. Someone will.
School this year has been pretty awesome. I'm 2/3 through my junior year now. I did awesome in my classes last term. 3 A's and 1 B, hello Dean's List! I've applied to a bunch of research programs for the summer. I hope I make one this time. I've already been turned down from 2. I'm kind of bummed, but there's nothing I can do about it now!
I"m in Florida right now on spring break...at my granny's house. I've been getting some sun and doing some shopping. Basically getting pumped for my 21ST BIRTHDAY on MARCH 8th!!
Well. It's after 11 here and I'm super tired. I think I'll head to bed. Still need to figure out in SL works with Macbooks...I doubt it.
