Girl Interrupted

Oh philosophy just puts me in the best of moods.

I might as well die. Thanks Socrates. Because to have a good life I need to be searching for the meanings of virtues, and if I don't I'm simply sleep walking through life. Well there must be more to it than that?

"What about our friends?" I asked my friend Adam today when he said he wasn't afraid to die. "Aren't afraid about what you're leaving behind?"

and he made a good point....

"Who are we leaving behind? What are our friendships? No matter how close we are with someone-no one will understand the feeling of my hate, my love, my happiness. No matter how hard we try to explain our emotions they can never be put into words. We're alone. We die alone. We're not leaving anyone behind."

What do you think? Is there any point to being here?

So that led me to being fairly depressed. Then I got even more so when Adam and this girl Britta were going to go see this comedy show tonight. All of my good friends seem to be getting girlfriends...except me...well I'd like a boy please.

There's something terribly awful about never having a boyfriend. If my lack of self-esteem wasn't brought down enough by my eating problems, the no-relationship thing is really starting to set in. My friends tell me that they can't believe that I don't have a boyfriend or never had one. Which then leads to them wanting to set me up with someone and whatnot....
but there's another problem. It's soooo hard for me to be together with someone...
I guess it's something you can't explain.
You know the saying 'You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself'? Well...I think it's absolutely true.
Or at least for me...