Bind Me into a Tight Lifeless Ball

I'm so tired.
So much working.
But now I'm free!!!
Free for a week.
When I woke up today I felt awful. I was so unbelievably tired. I didn't want to talk. It took so much just to open my mouth. And I had to go to work for 8 hours. I still havn't started my paper and it's due b the end of the day tomorrow. I'll need to work on it during the drive up to michigan.

Bllaaahhhh my throat hurts. You can guess why. I drank some hungarian tea(REAL!) and it helped a bit. My head hurts now. I'm trying to drink loads of water to stay hydrated. Oh I'm so tired :/

One Hundred

This is my 100th post. And I have nothing interesting to say.

I think I might journey back to last fall when I first started this thing. Read some of my old post.

Ahhh almost done with this working spree.

Today I worked from 7-3:30. Or at least I was scheduled to. My manager didn't get there till 8 am. SO I was outside for an hour. No fun. I got a lot of research done though. And it was an easy hour :)

I ended at 3:30 and went home-I forgot what I did after that. But my dad came up around 4:45. We went to Men's Warehouse to get their tuxes. Then we went to DSW and I got new high heels ^_^ I really like them. It will be interesting standing in them in the grass...walking up to the alter in the grass...oh well. They make your legs look good. Then he took us to Houlihans. Came back to the house and I tried working on my paper. My head dosn't feel too good and I'm super tired from closing and opening then closing and opening.

I just need to write it now and once I get started it shouldn't be too bad. I just need to figure out how to start it. And I dont know if I should talke about how each layer of beds was deposited then what they are composed of. OR should I List the different beds, say what they are composed of then say how they would be deposited?

So now I have to write it tomorrow. I brushed and flossed and mouthwashed my teeth to death. I love that clean feeling. However now they just ache which I think is radiating up to my head. I'm drinking some tea and it feels gooooooooood. Annie I don't think I like that new tea. The licorice root in it taste too licorice-y. Do you want it?

I'm watching the Wedding Crashers right now. I love this movie. Speaking of weddings! I'm really excited for my dad's. Wednesday I get to have a manicure and pedicure when the bridesmaids go out. There's 3 of us and then the bride. My feet look nasty. I still have clauses from dance. My nails are awful too. Ahhh I just want monday to be over. I want this paper done. And I want my teeth to stop hurting. Is that too much to ask for?

Through A Wall

My mouth taste like sugar. Really it does! But I havn't had any. Maybe it was from the apple I had? I know fruits are sugary.

My mom just ticks me off sooooo much. I can't wait to be gone a week. This night just sucks.
I came home from working all day and her and dave are watching TV. Well not really watching. They're asleep. So I go on the computer hoping they'll go up to bed after the TV show is done. Nope. They just have to watch the news! Oh wait-fall asleep to the news? It's pointless and it pisses me off. So they finally start going upstairs and she says goodnight to me 50394878 times. Just once! Twice is more than enough! Then she comes downstairs when my brother gets home and yells at him over stupid crap. She then asks me 3862897 questions that she asked me earlier. It's just so FREAKING annoying.

I'm watching The Others right now. About to watch The Silence of the Lambs. I've never seen it before. I shouldn't be watching it. I have to go to bed at 12 because I have to work at 7 am :/

I felt like I was doing so well. SO well not eating much. Today I only had a bowl of Raisin bran and then some baby carrots, an apple, and a few peanuts. I weighed myself. Same as last week...or I think it was last week? I can't get my days straight any more. But still. I did do it at night though apposed to in the morning like I did the other. I'll try tomorrow morning. It's probably because I havn't had time to work out. It just makes me so mad. It makes me feel even worse. But I think this is what it was like at first. It starts out slow. Too slow. Then it will get better.

AHHHH I DONT WANT TO WORK. I have to get my paper done tomorrow. I want to write more but I'm so tired. Work is taking so much out of me and I still have 2 more 8 hour days left.

It's a little person!

I'm watching Willy Wonka- Le hotty Johnny Depp version.

I decided to steal the tarot card reading quiz from Willow...

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

hmmm...

Today I worked from 6am to 2 pm. It was just ugh. I only got 3 hours of sleep-which was all my fault. I had a bowl of cereal before I left-which I always have in the morning. However today I purged it up. Fruity Pebbles. My throat has never hurt so bad. I was even more naseous after because of it. Luckily I made it across the street on my break to get some warm decaf coffee. That helped it a bit.
When I got home I just hung out for awhile until 6:30. I went to see my friend Annie at Starbucks. We talked about how much we missed being at our lowest weights. We talked about the few pictures we have at that point. I can only hope to get there again.

And I've been thinking. I really think that after this restriction I'm going to have to get help for it. I know I can't live like this. I can't spend my whole life hating the way I look. I can't spend every summer in my house just so I won't have to put on shorts. I hope I'll still feel that way when I get lower. If I get lower. It seems like I'll never get there.

In other news!
Tuesday I go up to michigan!!! No post or sl visits for me for about a week. Unless I get over to the coffee shop. Sounds like we'll be really busy though :/
I'm excited for the wedding. I'll see my relatives from out of state.
I should go to bed :/ work at 1 pm till 9:30 pm tomorrow. Then 7am-3:30pm Sunday :/

Ripped Socks

So I was at work and started thinking about some questions. Then I went online and found some more. I'm thinking I might post a new one every blogging. But today I thought I'd throw a few out there.

Why does everybody enjoy it so much when someone else gets into trouble?

In elementary school in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic here? Do tall people burn slower?

If money's the root of all evil why do the churches want it?

And why does my mother annoy me so much?

It's 11 pm and I need to be at work at 6 am tomorrow. 6 fucking am. GAY. DO you know what time the store opens? UH 9 am. DUMB. Whatever.

Running Away from the Pillows

It's nearly 2 am. I should be getting to sleep because I need to work on a geology paper tomorrow.

At the moment I'm really disappointed in myself all because off Willow C's post. I was around 14 when I first joined sl? It's kind of funny, because even with the credit card a must I still got in. They obviously didn't think about kids with naive parents. Seriously. Kids are getting so much smarter at outwitting their parents now. I can see why there's an age restriction on sl. Back in the day it wasn't so bad though. People were different back then. It just seemed like everyone I met had just a genuine feel to themselves. Now when I go to Ahern I feel like I'm looking at shells of materialistic hopefuls that want to kick off their first day in sl with a shopping spree. Ok, maybe they aren't ALL that way.

Moving to SL was a complete shock to me. I had been an active member in TSO. I was part of this huge mafia family and one day it just crumbled. But I found this guy and we started talking. I think he was a few years older than me. Anyways-we were "bf/gf" for awhile and I really got to know his "family". They slowly stopped playing TSO and I was informed about SL. Not wanting to be completely left out again I quickly transfered over.

The name game was easy for me. The first name I thought was "Hallie". I first heard the name in the movie The Parent Trap-with Lindsay Lohan. I don't really know why I like it, but for some reason I think it just goes with me. It dosn't have any cool meaning, which is something I normally look for. It means home ruler/from the hall. Real gay. And Greenstein was just a big mistake. I wanted to be Gardner like the family I came with but a slip of the mouse forever cursed me to be a Greenstein. I was really bitter about it at first, but now I think I'm just used to it.

My first sl av was much like the shifting daemons in the Golden Compass. I was every nursery rhyme character, a mermaid, a fairy, Dorothy, and then finally a child av. I was very against the idea of growing up as a young girl, so I think that's what settled it. Child avs kinda creep me out though. I mean I love being cute and cuddly, but when I see another one I just want to shake them. The baby talk just kills me. Which is why I never did it...or at least hardly did. Now the only child avs I see look like baby prostitutes. Maybe I just don't get out enough.

Recently my avs grown up a bit. I miss having a pixel turning av sometimes, but I'm tired of my av looking ridiculous in anything but kids clothes. I think it also kind of reflects my personality now. I've changed after college for a year. My personality just dosn't fit a child avs body as much as it used to.

Well thats the SL recap.
For the RL recap!

I was doing so well the past few weeks until tonight. We had to go eat dinner with my g-pa. I had a portobello mushroom burger thing. And then Creme Brulee. I came home and snacked on a few more things, which I attempted to throw up. I know I didn't get my full dinner up though. So now I just feel like shit. I just keep thinking tomorrow. No food no food. Going to starbucks for coffee, but no food.

I need to work on a geology paper for school. Which is why I'm going to starbucks. The thing I hate about drinking coffee now is that I'm already getting a shit ton of caffiene from the ephedra pills. Now I'm just getting another dose of it. But I just looooovvveeee coffee! I could get tea. But I want a latte. Thanks a latte!

I also need to bike tomorrow. I have a feeling I wont though. I have very specific conditions for when I bike. The trail has to be practically barren of people. I hate having to call out to people to get out of my way. The temperature has to be fairly cool too. That's all I ask for.

I'm so tired. I should really be getting to bed!