Wednesday Clean-up

Today is my last full day here at school till next term. I'm going to...
Stay in my PJ's all day
Clean my room
Take out the trash finally
Put everything that needs to go home and stay home all together
Get my final art project from the art building
STUDY MY ASS OFF TO ACE MY GEOLOGY FINAL!

Sooo facebook is covered in Probama Nobama status updates and I'm really getting sick of all the republicans saying our world is going to shit. But my friend Annie who goes to college about 45 minutes away from me wrote an article for her school paper. She's a creative writing major...

Obama win sparks Knox march, history
by Annie Zak

On the evening of November 4th, 2008, 75% of Knox College students were rioting in the streets of Galesburg. It all began when, earlier, around 10:30p.m., on the Knox College campus, a small crowd of students sat in the lobby of Post Residence Hall and watched the television as Barack Obama won Ohio and came closer to winning the election for president.
“Let’s take this to the streets!” Knox Junior Joey Firman said to sophomores Sam Conrad, Noel Sherrard, and myself. After exiting the lobby of Post after Obama’s first and historical speech, the four students headed north on West Street on the college campus and motioned to the rest of the crowd from Post to follow. There was soon a mass of fifty to sixty students marching on West Street, yelling to the buildings they passed “Come outside, get into the streets! O-BA-MA!” As the crowd marched, it turned through the courtyard of campus apartments, near Jazz House and Steak House as well as Tompkins, growing in size as it then headed north on Academy Street. Though the group was confronted by a police officer at one point early in the march, students simply screamed louder and kept marching after he said to “just try to keep it down, guys, and we can’t have you in the streets.” Continuously, the students shouted “Yes we can!” through the streets of Galesburg. The group at the front of the march then decided to steer everyone back toward the quads of Knox College to get more if not all students involved.
Once arriving at the quads, the marchers screamed at people to join them, stood on tables and waved American flags, dancing down the sidewalks. In the next ten minutes, nearly the entire population of the quad residents were on the lawn between there residence halls, cheering so loud it was hard to understand where we were going next.
A group of ten to twenty students slowly began to trickle out of the mass of quad students and toward the south lawn of Old Main, waving their arms until they ached for others to follow and move closer to Main Street. Once on the steps of Old Main, where history has taken place before, history was made once again as hundreds of hundreds of Knox students self-organized in joy of the win of America’s first African-American president. “I feel like I’m going to get smashed against the front door!” said one student as she watched the mass of people run toward Old Main’s steps, as many of them trying to make it onto the steps as possible and defy the capacity of the lawn.
After being on the steps of Old Main for ten minutes, Sam Conrad and I conferred with juniors Rita Lanham, Ariel Krietzman, and Michelle Geyer to once again move the group toward Main Street. With no hesitation for the possibility of cops, we formed a train of linked hands to guide us out of the mass of screaming students and toward Cherry Street. The mob soon followed, now surely the majority of Knox’s student population with even some adults and professors spotted within it. Heading north on Cherry Street, the students were wary but unflinching at the sound of the sirens from two cop cars, but this time, neither police officer got out of his vehicle. The crowd continued to march.
Turning left on Main Street and finally climaxing at the Public Square roundabout, the group stood up on the empty fountain and cheered still more, yelling “Whose change? OUR change! Whose victory? OUR victory!” People continuously screamed until hoarse, “This is the power of the people!” and “Happy history, everyone!” became a common phrase throughout the night.
Earlier in the night, many students were expressing their fears and doubts about the elections. Sophomore Sam Conrad said, “I was optimistic, and then today came and I kept thinking, ‘how could [Obama] win?’ But it’s happening. It’s so crazy. We’re living history.”
After the march, students slowly dispersed from the Public Square and headed back to campus, where Knox’s funk band was playing an impromptu and highly-attended concert outside of Knox’s Center for Fine Arts. Drawing almost as large a crowd as the march itself, students danced and protested that classes should be cancelled for Wednesday, in lieu of history being witnessed Tuesday night.

I think it's so cool to see her writing things like this.

2 Post Too Many...

I couldn't help but briefly reflect on what I have just witnessed on TV.

Whether you're democratic or not...Obama just won...

And today will go in a history book. I have just seen one of those moments in history.

Maybe if the republicans are right I'll see a great depression too.

Can I just point out how much it would SUCK for me...as a college student...at a private college...if that happens?!

Odd Number

I VOTED TODAY.

I am officially a good citizen.

Drinking My Life Away

So my absence of finals this last week of school is driving me to alcoholism.
Since I had nothing else to do last night I decided to go drink with a few of my friends. It was just the four of us trying to finish the last bit of vodka from a handle of Skol (gag) and they of course also engaged in other activities requiring lungs and dried plants.

I was having quite a bit of fun until my friends got tired. Of course I wasn't and insisted that one of them stay up just a little longer. He managed to get me out of his room by reminding me that it's almost 3 am. Which according to The Exorcism of Emily Rose, is the witching hour. Prime demon possessing time. A lot of people think that's stupid but I like to agree that it is and avoid it anyways just in case. So I went back to my room and got my laptop and took it to our lounge. Where I proceeded to type that last post up.

I was going to take it down, because I always feel "diary" entries like that to be really annoying. When I was little I would always try keeping a diary and found it silly so I would rip out all the pages and throw them away. Even looking back on my blogger makes me think "God, I'm so whinny" "All I do is complain".

But I decided to keep that one up. Because I do feel like that sometimes. It's hard to explain-and I think my drunken self explained it the best. I am quite impressed at my spelling. With the exception of "breath".

What am I up to today? I'm going to go vote at 11 am!!! Obama of course. And then at 2 pm I have a review session for my final on thursday. My only final. Then we'll probably come back to the dorm or something. I really want to watch LOTR and fall asleep at various parts.

SEE that's why I can't wait to go home. I AM DOING NOTHING HERE! I study for my final like 3-4 hours but I know it really well already and I just can't study ALL day!

Well I must go vote now. OBAMA FO YO MAMA!

125.

I am in the lounge of my dormitory right now.
Spell check has never been so useful.
I have just had a conversation with the evil person inside me.
I've never told you about her before...I don't like her.
She scares me.
She's not like me.
She yells at me when I look into the mirror.
Her eyes look past my cheerful gaze.
She makes me feel like I am nothing.
That I have not done anything.
That I am worthless.
That I do not deserve the things that I have.
The friends that I have.
The college that I have.
The image that I see.
Some days I feel like I'm thinner.
Until her eyes take over
And suddenly I see what is really there.
The same body that I started out with.
Nothing that I have done has changed it.
If anything I have made it worse.
I am a fat amorphous blob.
And she tells me that over and over.
The fuzzy feeling coursing through my veins brings her reach into my hands.
She talks through me.
She wanted to write this blog.
She wanted me to remember what it's like when she's here.
Someone else.
Someone that can't stand what i've become.
Someone that looks back on the pictures and cries about what I have let behind.
It is 2:45 and I want to go to bed.
Before the Witching hour.
You don't think it's real but I think it is.
Too many scray movies.
I am so fuzzy and tired.
But that is why I don't want to go to bed.
I don't want to.
I wish i could say the same for eating.
Why must I be so weak.
Why must I be so stupid.
Why must I be subjected to this.
Why can't I see myself the way others see me.
Why can't I say "I look pretty today"
Why can't I invest my time into a relationship instead of one with this person inside of me.
Because you are not worth it.
You.
Don't.
Deserve.
Anything.

You don't deserve to feel, to breath, to think, to wonder, to hope...never.













Let me go.

And Every Time I try...

I have an awful habit of beginning to write a post...getting sidetracked during it...and eventually just abandoning it all together. I can't decide if I'm too lazy or if my life just isn't that exiting to be updating people. I believe the last failed attempts consisted of me explaining my homecoming week, missing home, missing my friends, missing having someone that I can always go to.

My sophmore year of college has really opened my eyes to the friends I have and the friends I have made. I realized that 1/2 of the friends I have back home don't care about how I'm feeling, what choices I make or where I'm headed in life. And for awhile that made me sad because I called them my bestfriends. It took me 2 years to figure that out. It happened when my friend blew her pot smoke into my face. A joke to her-but a slap in the face to me.

I've got my friends at school here now. And I'm beginning to feel like one of those people that have so many friends but not really a best friend. I used to think that Adam was my best friend here at school, but this year it feels like I'm just the back-up plan if one of his plans fall through.

And now to top it off Halloween is over. If I would have continued my posting I probably would have thrown in there that the end of october marks the end of me just coasting through this "losing weight" process. It's not enough to just eat dinner everyday. I can't go to La Rancherita every sunday. THose ephedra pills are going to comeout of the drawer again. I think I'll buy a scale when I go home. I'm at least 100 food points over, 20 more than last year. So in a way I know I'm eating less than last year. It feels good to beat that number. Maybe next term I'll have even more.

I'm going home on THURSDAY!!!! I'm so excited. I'll get to see my puppy who has more than tripled in her size. I'll get to see my kitten and ferret. I'll get my hair cut and dyed darker. What else...maybe go on SL. Maybe go to my old high school and see my old earth science teacher. Tell him how much I love my school. I'll need to get new winter shoes. Some more winter shirts would be nice. Maybe another pair of jeans. I really want a nice pair of skinny jeans.

This next week is finals week. I only have 1 final! And it's on thursday, which kind of stinks because I'll be here so long. But it's also nice because I know I can just focus really well on it and do AWESOME.

I am once again being sidetracked so i think i'll publish this before i completely delete it...