Queen of the Mile

I'm sooo tired right now. In a good way though.

So I'm back at school. Sadly I did not make it on SL the past break. It's funny to look back and think how I used to spend every minute I could on that game. Staying up till 3 in the morning and passing out at the computer. Now it's like 2 hours and I'm ready to go do something else. It's sad that it's just not that fun anymore. Especially since I rarely get to talk to my UK friends without it.

Speaking of the UK. I have moved up to #9 on the waiting list to go to Europe. This puts me extremely close to getting the opportunity to go. I've been weighing the ups and downs.
Ups: Get to see my wonderful UK friends that I've dreamed about meeting and hugging for years.
Get to see two countries I've wanted to see the most all my life.
Get to listen to sexy british accents for 5 weeks.
Get to laugh at silly germans for 5 weeks.
Downs: I get set back a term with my geology intentions
I miss out on a ton of stuf with my friends- a lot goes on in one term!
Miss out on building the professor-student relationship for one term.

So it's kind of a stale mate. It's a ridiculous amount of money to go there, around $15,000. I dont know if it would be better to wait and go when I'm not in school? But my mom wont let me go if I'm not with a group! It's not the typical spring break location. What am I getting so worked up for. I'm only #9 on the list.

I've been working out for the past 3 days now. Adam, my friend Sam and Kate, and I have been going around 7pm and running/weight lifting. I've been running at least a mile each day. The first day I ran 12 laps which equals 1 and a half miles. The last two I've only managed a mile or so, but I've been rowing a mile on the rowing machine too. Adam has been showing me how to weight lift since I have NO upper body strength. ZERO. They have a good ol' time watching me lift even the lightest weights.

I need to think of a better schedule. Like running only 3 days a week? Or maybe I should run 5?Or 6? At least a mile each time? I need a friend that knows all about this stuff. I should look it up.

I've had ridiculous chocolate cravings the past week. No it's not that time of the month! I looked it up online and found some magazines that told me that it's caused by a lack in protein, which dosn't surprise me at all. I used to eat egg whites, but eggs freak me out now so I dont eat them. I dont eat nuts...just hardly anything with protein. I KNOW it's bad, but it sucks force feeding yourself something you hate. Like milk...I hate it...I refuse to drink it. But I'm going to need calcium some how? Cottage cheese?

I have done something good to keep some of my vitamins in check. FLINSTONE VITAMINS. YUM. I eat them like candy. EFF the person who says one a day! They're for kids and I think I should eat as many as I want. They're just so good. I'ma have one right now. God they're so good.

Havn't talked to Brian much since I got back. Adam did a little bit. I guess Brian just kinda got out of a long relationship and it's hard getting back into one because you kinda forget what to do? Adam said it's true. I wouldn't know. Still, I keep flip flopping about him, which may be a sign.

I got transformer tattoos. They rock.

Night Drive

Sooooo Tired.

I picked up Tina and Caitlin from C-dawgs house. Katie didn't come. Went to Noodles. 1 o'clock. Plenty of time. Get on highway around 1:30.

The seemingly simple ride to Knox turned into a horror ride after the 2nd exit to 74. I missed the exit at first and continued to go to the Quad City Airport. Dont worry I realized I was off and turned around however I got on 74 and stayed on 74 for like ever. Then we went 94 miles out of the way. We got to Knox eventually though.

Went to Dinner with the missing half of the Bebop. Good cookies. Then they all went and smoked weed. Tina said I got some of it but I'm positive I didn't. We went back to their dorm and stayed there. Annie was entertaining. It was nice seeing their friends again. I wish we could've stayed the night, but the ride home was fun.

I was doing real well until we got to the 88 east exit. I missed it and 74 turned into 80 again. Gay. So somehow I figured out how to get back on 80 and into illinois? Then we got on 88. Then fog. Lots of fog. I could probably see 20 feet in front of me and the rest of my side of the highway. As for anything in the distance..no way. So I managed to stay going 70-80 by staying between the white lines. I was quite pleased with myself.

I'm home now. So tired. But overtired. So much to do still. But I dont care. I have half a day at school tomorrow. I wish I could've spent more time today with my brother.

The drive was awful(on the way) but I'm glad we went to Knox.


oh...I love Eisly and the Canberries. And Cranberry Juice. Did you Reisin hit?

We sat at blue street liiiiggghhhttsss watching the strike of '59

So much went on today!

Ok, so went to Yorktown. I love driving on the highway. My fave song of the day is Jessie and My Whetstone. Loooooovvveeeee. Got the best parking spot ever. Saw my 2 fave people from Augie...well pretty muuch(Nate and Adam). They gave me a hard time about seeing Brian tonight. They always do that. Went to Egg Harbor. It was really good. Then we went bowling. I did awful. I got like 5 strikes though. Then we went home. Another awesome drive. Not as good as the first.

Brian came over around 6:30 after getting lost. haha. We hung around the house a little talking waiting to get more hungry. Then we went to CPK. It was good. We had fun. Came back home and watched Jurassic Park. Haha such nerds. It was so good I havn't seen it in forever. Then we watched the Office and a little of Little Miss Sunshine. He left around 12:30. We were so tired.

I'm so tired.

Tomorrow I'm off to Knox. I was hoping it would be some huge surprise. I have so much to do. I feel bad that everyone can't stay over but I'm not prepared to stay the night when having to go back to school tomorrow. I have no problem driving home by myself but my mom freaked. I just want everything to be done. Get to Knox. See two of the coolest people I know. Go home. Sleep in.

Sunday I go back to school. Ugggghhh

New Year's Resolutions

1. To stop saying "gay". I hate the people that say it and some how I've become one of them. I need to find a new word. My brother recomended "Dumb Shit".

2. To start working out and stick to it. I'm realizing that the way I've stayd so thin and muscular all these years were the 2 hours of dance team every day. I never realized how much it helped. Adam wants to workout too so I think we'll make a good work out team.

3. Let people get close to me. Tell them how I really feel and what's going on.

4. Get at least a 3.5 GPA. I got a 3.33 last term...almost there.

* All of this will start next week when I'm at school. Me and three of my best friends are doing a raw food diet for at least a week. i wanna try to go for a month but maybe I should just stick with 2 weeks.

All these strings are attatching to me but I can't find the scissors

Finally updating this thing.

I always want to write but then I get to this posting page and I feel like I can't write everything I want to say because I don't knowhow to explain it or know I can't describe how amazing it is.

But I will describe today

Technically it starts at Nick Bender's house. Had fun, but nothing to write about. I got home around 2. Laura let me stay a little longer this time. I stayed up till 4 because I just wasn't tired. So I got up at 9, stupid sinuses. I fell back asleep at 11 and slept till 2:30. My mom finally woke me up and I rushed to my dad's house in Aurora.We exchanged presents. I got Gucci perfume. mmmmm. My dad took us to Red Lobster.

Then I went to Caribou.At Caribou I saw Annie through the window and was instantly excited. I thought she left. Then I saw Tina. Equally excited. Then I saw Barbara and was like...ugh. But I withdrawl that "ugh" because she turned out to be pretty cool. Tina gave me marshies! A whole medium cup! Medium? I don' know.

Then we went to Megan's. Lots of talking. Some about Brian. I have more to talk about... We left and I forgot my presents again so I went back.But the more about Brian:

Sooo in Michigan he texted me when he was drunk and was like "grreeeen beeaaann"so I texted him back of course and told him how I need to think of a nickname for him. He replied "Howw about boyfriend?"I told him i liked it, but we'd see how much he'd like it when he was sober. That was pretty much the end of it. After the thing with asian Alex fall term I learned not to take drunks seriously.Anyways it cameup again tonight, when we were all talking. After the whole date thing. He texted me :
"you still have to make up a name for me!"
" I know! I'm not as creative as you"
"I made some suggustions but you didn't take them so well"
"Whatdo you mean I didn't take it well!?"
"I suggusted one a few nights ago but I dont think you lked it so it's all you now"
"I didn't not like it, I just didn't know if you really did"
"Grean bean why would I suggust such a name if I didn't like it"

SO that was basically that.

I've kinda realized that I do this thing where when someone gets close to me-like Brian is...I mentally push them away. Like at school after turkey break we hung out one night and watched a movie and then after that I found myself not trying to make time for him or going out of my way to be with him. So a week went by without much going on. Maybe a text here or there. Then he came to the library one night with all of us and I just missed him. I dont want that to happen again. I think it's just because I've never had a boyfriend before and I'm worried about it just changing my life-like when some people gt boyfriends and they just only spend time with them? I know that wont happen but I guess I'm afraid that will happen and I dont want to loose my friends at school. I just need to prove to myself that it will be fine.

I'm home again

I'm very sorry for not posting at all for a month. It'll be extremely hard to bring you all up on what has gone on.

Well I think I'll just back track

Today I had a chem quiz and final. 2 of my classes were cancelled. Have I mentioned what classes I have this term?

MWF: 8:30-9:45am: LSFY-Mind,Soul,Self. Basically a philosophy class? We've been talking about Plato the past 3 weeks, just got into Montaigne. It's fairly interesting. I don't think i could ever take a bunch of classes on it. Way to much to grasp!

10:25-11:15: Modern Dance

11:30-12:45: Chemistry 122-ew

1:00-2:15pm: Pre-calc-ewewe

T: Precalc- only 50 minutes!

Th: chem lab 1:30-4:15...just let me die

I like my classes so far.

Last week we had an Ice Day due to an Ice Storm. We went sledding on stolen lunch trays. Oh, this past weekend I got really trashed. Look on facebook for videos. I'm everyones favorite drunk now. I insist on making snow angels. It took 45 minutes for a 15 minute walk. AND I called the sky "upstairs". Wish you were there?

Boy update: Been hanging out with Brian a little. I couldn't decide whether I see him as a friend or more than one...but I think he's more than a friend...I dunno. I'll hang out with him over break. The only problem is that we never really talk. It's always quoting something or goofing around. Hopefully that'll change. Adam and I have been hanging out as usual. He is like another brother. We wail on each other-like full out punch. He's been trying to teach me sel defense...I guess I need more muscle.

I watched a movie called Requiem for a Dream. SO SAD. The diet pills creeped me out the most.

What else...OH I'll be in Michigan till the 31st. With limited internet access. Hopefully I'll be able to drive into town and go to the wireless coffee shop. After the 31st I'll be home again till the 6th.

I have to get up at 6 tomorrow so i should probably go!